Remembering Her
by Jyoti
Summary: Eight year old John asks Ricky who his first love was, and that leads Ricky to think back to a girl that he had long ago pushed out of his memories. Ricky/Adrian.


**Remembering Her**

Ricky had just picked eight year old John up from school and the two of them decided that they would go to the park before John started on his homework. Ricky watched as John played around, laughing and using his imagination with every little thing. Ricky never really had much of those memories. He was forced to grow up faster than he would have liked, but watching John put some youth back into him. John thought that he could be anything: an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, and even a king. Ricky just hoped that he would never lose that hope and innocence.

Ricky continued to watch John build sandcastles. He was building sand castles with a little girl named Sarah. He had met her at the park about a year ago and the two of them seemed attached to the hip. He found himself smiling as the two of them giggle and threw sand at each other. Ricky always amused himself with the thought of John being a ladies' man.

When it was finally time to go, Ricky and John headed back over to their car and Ricky started driving to their house. Ricky still worked for Mr. Boykevich but he decided that it was finally time to move and get a place of his own. He was doing well on his own, or as well as he could. Ricky had not been in any serious relationships since Amy had left him. He was currently going out with Clementine, but he had no idea where that relationship would lead him. Amy would come back on holidays to see John and he could tell that she was living the life she had always dreamed of. He didn't dare ask her any questions about Ben, even though he wanted to, but he could tell by that sparkle in her eye that they were back together.

Ricky drove to his house in silence. John looked over at his father and then started talking to him, "Daddy. What's it like to be in love?"

Ricky was surprised by his son's question. He chuckled nervously, "Why buddy? You think you're in love?"

John nodded eagerly and Ricky laughed even harder at this, "Well I think you have a long way to go before finding out what love is. Who's the girl buddy?"

"Sarah." He stated her name as confident as any eight year old boy could and Ricky found himself smiling at this.

"Well buddy I think you're just infatuated."

John looked at him with a puzzled look on his face, "In-fat-uat-ed?"

Ricky nodded at this, "It's like when you think you're in love with someone but you really just like the idea because it all makes sense."

"Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"Have you ever been In-fat-uat-ed?" John seemed to trip over the word still and Ricky couldn't help but smile, but that immediately fell once he realized his question.

When he said this Ricky immediately thought of Amy. He thought that he was in love with Amy, but the closer it came towards the wedding day, the more he realized that maybe the two of them were just trying to make something happen that couldn't happen. He didn't feel passion with Amy, but he loved her more than anything in the world. She was the mother of his child, and she was his friend, but he couldn't bring himself to say that he was in love with her. He wasn't.

"Yes, John I have."

"With who?" John asked eagerly.

"I'll pass on that question."

John sighed and for a minute the car ride was silent again. But as always John had something more to say. John was a bit of a talker, he couldn't resist asking questions and starting up conversations.

"Daddy? Who was your first love? Was it mommy?"

Ricky felt his lips tightening at this. He gripped the steering wheel tighter as he made a left turn. They were almost at the house, "No, it wasn't mommy John."

John frowned at this but then quickly asked another question, "Who was it then?"

He let out a breath. He hadn't said her name in years, "A very special girl that used to be in my life…Adrian…Adrian Lee." He didn't know if it was Adrian Lee anymore, but that's what he would remember it as.

"The one mommy didn't like?"

Ricky's eyes widened at this, but he should have guessed that John would catch on to the rivalry that went on between Amy and Adrian during their high-school years. John was a smart kid.

"That's the one kiddo."

"But daddy! Why did you love her?"

Ricky mentally cursed. Why did the kid have to ask so many questions? As they pulled up at the driveway Ricky sighed. He hadn't opened the doors yet, instead he relaxed more in his seat and then looked at John, "John…Adrian was my first love because well, she was everything like me, yet nothing like me at all."

"Daddy that doesn't make sense though!" John argued.

Ricky laughed at this, "What I mean is that…Adrian and I, we were like two souls mixed in one. We could finish each other sentences. We knew each other on a higher level than I knew anyone else…even maybe your mother. She was my best friend and yet at the same time she could be most worst enemy because she was so much like me and I hated that because I didn't like myself all that much when I was younger. She understood me, and she never asked me for anything expect to love her."

"Then what happened?" John looked at Ricky with this childlike innocence and Ricky continued.

"I wasn't exactly the greatest person in the world back then John. I was mean and I hurt her even though she loved me. It was a big mistake and I wish I could change it but I can't. And John you have to promise me that you'll never hurt the person that you love like I did ok?"

"Ok daddy, I promise."

"Good, now no more questions alright? I have stuff to do today." He opened the door and John quickly got out of the car. Ricky couldn't stop thinking about his conversation with John though.

And that's when he realized, no matter what, Adrian would always be his first love. He would never forget her, no matter who he moved on to, she would always be trapped in his memories.

**A/N: **I haven't seen a lot of Adrian/Ricky stories lately so I just kind of came up with this. I'm sure there's not a lot of love for them but I enjoyed watching them before Adrian got pregnant. They were both pretty messed up, but at the same time I felt like they had something that none of their other relationships had. Thanks for reading!


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